Somewhere I Belong
by Dragon of Rain
Summary: Malik is left with the feelings of lonlyness after the death of his Yami wile in the care of Yugi he begain to gain feelins for Yugi...Well it all work out or will Malik be alone forever? Malik/Yugi
1. Lonlyness eats me Alive

Malik Chan: ^_^ here's the follow up fic to whisper! 

Seto: Its not anther song fic is it?

Malik Chan: -.-+ NO!

Seto: Kay just making sure

Malik" If you haven't read Whisper yet GO READ IT!!!  (Holds up rod)

Malik Chan: MINE!  (grabs rod)

Malik: -.-;;

Seto: Get Use to it…. she's nuts…

Malik:…  I...see…(Looks at rod longingly)

Malik Chan: The parting here is Malik/Yugi don't like the paring don't read it!  If you flame me I well print out your flames and use them for my hamster to piddle on!  ^_^

Seto: She named that rodent after me… -.-;;;

Malik: HAHAHAHAHA

Malik Chan: If I had gotten two I would have named the other after you Malik.

Malik: O.o;

Seto: ANYWAY!  On with the fic already…

Somewhere I Belong 

Chapter 1: I feel So Numb

            I have that dream again….  I'm running through the desert, the sand coming up past my ankles making it hard to run….  Just what am I running from?  I'm running from my Yami…Just to make this running though the desert even more fun….  I'm in the middle of a sand storm…  I look behind me and there he is with that smug look on his face the soft sand seeming not a problem for him.  DAMN!  Nothing can go in my favor can it?  I just want to leave him behind and move on…but he isn't about to give up that easy no of cores not…what made me think he would…  Then as I turn around to continue my feeble attempt to run I see someone standing to no surprise to me (seeing my luck) on the furthers sand dune in my eye site and let me remind you kiddies I'm still in the sand storm.  My Yami is about to grab me.  Gods do not let him take me over again!  I beg you please do not let him take me again!  The gods seem to be on my side because just as Yami is about to grab me he disappears…. and the figure who was standing so far away is now on front of me but the sand hides their identity…With that the dream ends…I still haven't managed to see who it is… 

            I sat up to fast and as the result of this my head spins madly giving to the hints of the begin of a headache.  I looked around the room to see just where I was and am. I'm confused when I see Yugi looking at me.  Yugi read the confusion in my eyes…

            "Jonouchi bring you home." 

            "Honda helped too!"  Jonouchi threw in

            Honda looked at me as if I tried to kill someone… well okay I DID try…but I didn't…. that should count for something…. 

            "How yah feeling?"  Jonouchi asked 

            How am I feeling?  If I knew I would tell you but right now my mind is trying to comprehend every thing that's happened, and most importantly trying to find what is to happen to me now that he is gone… and is he really gone?  Or will he just wait for the right moment then say, "HERE I AM YOU CAN NEVER ESPCAP ME!!!!!!!!!"  I only hope that he doesn't come back.

            "How can you trust him?"

            How baka Honda…  I'm right in front of you…

"He was manipulated by his Yami!" Yugi protests 

Manipulated?  It makes sense…  He did use my father's death as my source of anger.  This now makes me wonder if I had been able to get the millennium puzzle, what would he have done? 

            Yugi's attempt to justify what I did isn't going to make them trust me…No Honda and Anuz won't forgive me that easy…but why dose Jonouchi trust me?  After all I've did…  Most importantly why dose Yugi? 

            "Malik?"  Jonouchi whispered

            "Hmm?" 

            "I asked you how are you feeling?"

            "Confused…"

            Honda is still looking at me as if I'm going to kill everyone in the room, he doesn't seem to think that my confusion isn't real that I'm playing them like I did before…though how can I blame Honda?  I don't think I would trust me ether…

            Jonouchi smiled at me "everything will be okay!" Jonouchi said patting me on the back.

            Honda just walks out…

            "Jonouchi is right!"  Yugi says with a bright smile

            Well I guess the good thing now is that I'm not alone.  But if I'm not alone how come it feels like I am?  Maybe because I feel so numb… this is the first time in seven years that I haven't felt anger, hatred, or even revenge…. no only this empty nothingness…

            Jonouchi and Yugi leave the room as I lay back to stare at the ceiling.  Lost in my own thoughts but nonetheless not wanting to be alone.  I don't say anything I don't think I could even get anything out if I needed to.

Normal POV:

            "Yug you sure about this?"  Jonouchi asked

            "YES, he needs me Jonouchi!  He needs to know that someone is there for him!" Yugi whispered desperately  

            " That's what I like about you Yug!"  Jonouchi said with a smile

Malik's POV

DAMN!  This dream!  It never fails as soon as I fall asleep it comes to take me over…  What is this dream trying to tell me?  That if I really want to stay free from my Yami I have to find this person who makes him go away forever…  Whatever the reason the dream always ends at the same point I never find out who it is….

Yugi's POV

Malik seems so sad…I wish there was something I could do…but with him not letting me in closer I can't do anything…  I went back to try to talk to him again.

"If you need anything I'm here for you…"  I whispered softly but he just lies there staring at the ceiling.  So I leave again.

Malik's POV

            Why do I keep doing this?  All he wants to do is help me but I keep pushing him away…I need to let him help because I believe he can help make me human again…to feel again…  I no longer want to be this hollow shell of a person…

            He comes in again but I just pretend to be asleep.  He gently touches my cheek.  The warmth of his hand is almost too much for me because I can feel his love IN that touch. 

            "Let me in Malik…let me love you…"

            Is he saying he loves me?  How can he?  Can I even love? Will I be able let him love me?  So many questions running tough my head.  I've never felt like this before…what is this I'm feeling?  Is this love?  All I know is that right now I don't want him to leave…I fight the impulse to fight his touch.  This comes with being alone for so long, and my Yami…  I want this never to end I want his touch!  I want him to love me, and to teach me TO love…sleep is taking over me…NO I want to stay awake and to feel his love!  But no sleep takes hold and for the first time since my Yami's death I sleep a dreamless sleep.

Yugi's POV

            For once he doesn't seem to be fighting some inner demon only he can see.  No he seems to be at peace for the moment…He needs to sleep…  I bend over, kiss him gently on his cheek, and leave him to dreams.

Malik's POV

            When I wake up I'm all alone again.  I can hear the TV on in the living room but I can also hear the faint sound of rain.  I look out the window at the inky darkness.  What time is it?  I look at the clock and its red numbers tell me its 8: 00 pm. Wow I didn't think I slept that long…

            I mange to pull myself out of bed and walk to the bathroom by some miracle I find.  I look at myself in the mirror.  Now I can see the same lonely and confused eyes Yugi sees. I touch my cheek; yes my eyes no longer hold that deep anger that they once did…  For that I'm Thankful but all that lies in my lilac eyes now is…this deep emptiness…

            Walking into the living room I see him…my little angel that saved me… when he sees me he gives me that warm smile.  I weakly smile back.  As I sit down Yugi looks at me with surprise but I didn't pay any mind tell I sat down…  I sat as close to him without sitting in his lap…DAMN!  That was awkward… =-.-=; He doesn't even know I like him and I did that…I just run back to my room and lock the door, and lay down on the bed again.  Taking out the CD player Jonouchi let me borough I lose myself in the music.  I do this because after making an ass of myself Yugi is going to try to talk to me and frankly I just want to be by myself after that…

            I'm so lost in the songs that seem to so well tell how I feel…Evanescene seems to do that to me…  I've lost count of how many times I've listened to "Bring me to Life" and "Whisper" but the one that seems to lose me completely is "Fields of Innocents" now this song wasn't on the Fallen CD no Jonouchi found the song off the internet and put it to a CD for me.  This is my favorite song…  It just seems to call to me and just so clearly depicts how I feel…

            Some how Jonouchi picks the lock to my room and lets himself in.  This kinda makes me mad seeing I just wanted to be alone!  But he doesn't seem to care; he then closes the door, and to my surprise locks it again!

            "What happened out there?"  He whispered softly 

            "I don't want to talk about it…" I said angrily

            "You like him don't you?"  Jonouchi says in that same soft tone

            I just sit there lost in though.  I more the simply like Yugi, fuck I love him but I just can't seem to get past my head… my heart tells me to love but hearing it now after all this time its hard to listen to it.

            "Just give yourself time to heal.  He'll be there for you.  He's crazy about you but doesn't want to move to fast.  Well I'll just leave you to your music…"  Jonouchi whispered

            He walks back to the door and unlocks it.  "Oh and one more thing Malik….  I'm here for you too..."  He said and walked out.  I can hear him relocking my door. Then I just go back to my music…. I want to block everything and everyone out.

Malik Chan: Sorry for all the POV changes… -.-


	2. Im here and its all over now

Malik Chan: This Chapter Will be told from Yugi's POV.  It will help to tell how Yugi fell in love with Malik!

Seto: Is it a song fic?

Malik Chan: NO!

Seto: Kay….

Somewhere I Belong 

Chapter 3: I'm Here For You 

            Now I can't really explain why I fell in love with Malik, but I think it was that I knew his heart wasn't completely consumed by the darkness within him.  That if I could take hold of the light that lay hidden in him I could get to see the real Malik not the Malik he showed.  On top of that if Bakura's Yami could control him who was to say Malik's wasn't doing the same thing? 

            I spent a long time talking to Jonouchi about all this and he agreed with me that it was possible that his Yami was controlling poor Malik.  I could see him fighting to find the truth that Malik really wanted in those lilac eyes.  His father had been killed and he believed that it was somehow the Pharaoh's fault. Then when he found the truth he desperately wanted he know.  Then Malik knew he had done wrong, and begin to come out from the darkness he called home for so long. 

            That day I held him in my arms after he had been freed seemed to be a dream not just for Malik but for me as well.  I held him close wanting nothing more then just to keep him near me.  Jonouchi along with grate protest from Honda we brought Malik back to my house.  I didn't leave his side the whole time he slept. 

            When he first woke up his eyes didn't hold that same darkness as they did before but a deep confusion.  His whole world had just been turned upside-down after all.  I think he felt the tension that Honda felt. he didn't think that Malik deserve our friendship, but I knew he just needed a friend now.

            Malik won't talk to me, but Jonouchi told me it was because he was nerve around me especially after what happened the other night. But I didn't understand Malik hadn't really did anything…unless he… Jonouchi told me that Malik felt like he himself had did something wrong by sitting to close but he didn't.  Malik just wasn't use to being around people the way he was now.  No he was use to people fearing him and things like love where things that just didn't come up.  He battles with himself to let himself be human but I think he is almost afraid to.  Not that he liked being the way he was but that was all he knew.  Now he has to start all over again. 

            I only hope I can help he be reborn. I love him so much it kills me to see him in so much pain. All I want to do is hold him in my arms and tell him how I feel…to kiss away his pain… 


	3. So this is what it feels like to love

Malik Chan: This fic goes back to Malik's POV and will stay that way unless noted other wise.

Seto: Are you going to do a song fic?  You know you want to….

Malik Chan: I m getting there!  ^.  ^ This one is KINDA a song fic but not really

Seto: ….

Malik Chan: but then it dose go into a song fic at the end! ^~^

Seto: -.-;

Somewhere I Belong 

Chapter 4 Let Me Stay

            Its still raining out…. and that only makes this loneliness that much more worse. As I watch the rain the words of a song come to my mind.  Yes I think I've been lessoning to Evanesces too much… 

            " I linger in the doorway of alarm clocks screaming monsters call my name.  Let me Stay!"

            Now here comes the part that rain brought up

            "Where the wind will whisper to me, where the rain drops as their falling tell a story…"

            "That's a pretty song…" Yugi whispered

            Was I thinking out loud? Damn…

            "…Um…thanks…it's a song off of the CD Jonouchi let me barrow."

            "The one his pen pal sent him?"  
             "Yeah…"

            I keep my gaze out the window, watching the rainfall, and wonder if the rain really did tell a story.  And if it did who's…. where they telling mine because the rain seems to show how I feel.

            Outside the world lights up as lighting strikes across the sky in its fork like patter that makes the outside world light for a brief moment. Then fallowed by the lighting comes the thunder…I jump as a loud clap of thunder booms. I can't believe I'm this jumpy…

            I feel Yugi's hand on my shoulder and relies I'm shaken badly.

            "Are you aright?"

            "Yeah…"

            My gaze is still out the window it seems like my mind is telling me that I should why my hear tells me to turn to Yugi and tell him how I feel. My mine wins this round…only because I'm still not use to hearing my heart. Give me time heart I'll hear you soon!

            With out knowing I'm doing it I sing the song out loud again.

            "In my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby

            Remember kiddies this is ALL in front of Yugi…He knows I've let my guard down and so he just loves this…He knows if he says anything I'll close back up…

            "I lie inside myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly over me."

            I do this sept my sky isn't purple no it's a deep crimson 

            "Don't say I'm out of touch with this rampant chaos-Your reality"

            Funny thing reality…Like most things its all up to interruption. Like what I find reality to be is VERY different then say what Yugi thinks reality or even Jonouchi thinks to be reality.

            "I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge the nightmare I build my own world to escape." 

            I like my little world…I'm not seen as a psychopath, I never had a Yami, I never tried to or killed anyone, and I'm with Yugi.  I'm in his warm embrace and I'm happy…  This part being with Yugi can become reality if I only find it within me to let him love me and become human.

            "In my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby I lay inside myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly over me"

            The rain is still falling and is only getting worse.  The thunder booms then the lighting lights up the dark world for a brief moment then everything is dark again. 

            Now with the next line I'm about to sing gives little Yugi a look into my soul…

            "Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming cannot cease for the fear of silent nights.  Oh how long for the deep sleep dreaming the goddess of imaginary light"

            I say this is a look into my soul because I fear being alone and with that I fear the silence.  The silence is the reminder that I'm all alone and I don't want the think about that.  I stop singing and so dose the rain.

            Yugi steps forward and my hear races as he lays a gentle hand on my shoulder.  My heart races even faster as he speaks…

            Malik…I…um…I…love…you…" Yugi whispered shakily

            I go pale... I mean I knew how he felt he just never told me face to face and now that he has I don't know what to say. My heart tells me to confess my love to him as well, but its voice is still small…  My mind tells me to run that I'll only get hurt… and my mind wins again…

            Mind: 2 Heart: 0!

            I run because I'm confused and my head is swimming I just don't know what to say… I don't know what to do!

Chapter 5: Where Has My Heart Gone?

(A/N the song use in this fic is "Fields of Innocents" by Evanescence)

** I still remember the world from the yes of a child. 

Slowly those feelings were clouded by what I know now **

            I stare up at the inky sky it seems to want to cry again. Yes the sky wants to cry just like I do. I want to go back to when I was young before everything happened…but then what good would that do? Everything would still play out like to the way it was meant to be written.

** Where has my heart gone? 

I want to dream for the real world

Oh I, I want to go there to 

Believing everything 

Not knowing nothing at all  **

I've often wondered what happened to my heart and lately it has begun to come back. I still run I don't want to stop because if I do I have to face everything, and running back is not what I want to do. Then what DO I want?

** I still remember the sun 

Always warm on my back 

Some how it seems colder now **

I want that warmth back. I want Yugi to hold me close. I want him to make me warm. To make this bitter cold to go away before it kills me.

** Where has my heart gone?

Trapped in the eyes of a stranger!

I want go back to Believing in everything! **

This whole time Iv felt like a stranger to myself but now I've begun to feel again …and I feel normal.

** Oh I, I want to go back to believing in everything

Oh where, where as my heart gone? **

Yugi finally caught up to me and grabbed my wrest. The tears finally come and at the same time the sky cries as well.

            "All I've ever wanted was to be…loved " I whispered softy the rain washing away much more then just my tears

** Trapped in the eyes of a stranger

Oh I, I want to go back to believing in everything

I still remember…**

            "I need someone to help me to show me how to love because I'm afraid I've forgot how to…" I whisper 

            "Will you let me be the one? The one to show you how to love again?" Yugi asked

            I think he knew I was crying…just some how I knew he knew I was crying…

            "I want you to be. No I NEED you to be the one Yugi…I want nothing more then to simply be held in your arms and to hear you say that you love me…" 

            I sink to my knees sobbing. Yugi pulled me close into his warm embrace.

            "It's going to be alright…" Yugi whispered in my ear

            He was holding me like he did that first time. I'm so tried now…I laid my head on his shoulder. Yugi kissed my forehead softly.

            "So then will you let me love you?" Yugi asked

            "If you still want to…" I whispered hoarsely  

He gives me his answer as he takes my chin gently in his hand then kissed my lips. Never did I believe that I could be this happy or want anthers touch as much as I did now. I wanted his touch and no others. I just wanted him. To be in his arms, to be kissed by him and to be his…I kiss him back with all my heart  

The rain is still falling, as are my tears, but theses tears are no longer tears of pain but tears of joy. 

"I love you Yugi," I whispered breathily

" I love you too Malik…" 

            Chapter 6: You Are the Life Among the Dead

            Once I thought I didn't need anyone, but now I can't even being to imagine being alone. Yugi is my whole world. Never have I felt so loved and truly happy as I do now.

            I've found my heart and I don't think I could have ever found it without Yugi's love. I' am very grateful for all he has done to help me. For I believe if it had not been for him I wouldn't be the person I am now or even be here.  Thank you my love for everything you've done for me! 

            We walk home in the rain. It falls and as it doses it tells my story of pain and my rise to love. The rain also washing away the shame I felt for so long. Now I can truly be human again and most importantly I can love and be happy.

            We're home now and all I want to do is sleep. I kiss my new lover goodnight, go to my room, and change out of my wet closes. I lay on the bed and almost at once fall asleep my world I've dreamed of had now come true…. 

            I have the dream again… I'm still running though the sand in the middle of a sand storm my Yami chasseing me. I see the person on the sand dune then the person sending my Yami away and now standing in front of me. The sand begins to fall away and now I can finally see who it is who has saved me. The person is Yugi I should have known this but I needed to let myself heal before I could love but now I've healed and I've let myself love and most importantly BE loved

Malik Chan:  ^~^  I hoped you liked it!

Seto: ^.^ I did!

Malik Chan; good~ Now that I have this done keep an eye out for "Unbreak My Heart" my Seto/Duo fic! Thos of you who have read it EVERYTHING will be explained in Chapters 7 and 8 ^__^ along with some twists and turns! Until next time~ R&R 


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